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With all the movies that have been made and all the gimmicks that have been tried, has there ever been a porno made in 3-D? It just seems like a match made in heaven. I remember the first 3-D movie I ever saw--it had fish swimming out towards me and I wanted to reach out and grab it. Now imagine that...but with boobs! They'd hafta be careful on the moneyshot (there's some things that should never been seen in 3-D, but other than that, it seems like a flawless idea. I'd pay to see it.

I screwed myself. I inadvertently gave a chik I work with my MySpace name and now she wants to be MySpace friends. The problem is I write some stuff on there that I really don't want any of my coworkers reading. I was gonna post a really funny iRANT I wrote about a luncheon I had a few weeks back but now I have some doubts: I mighta wrote some stuff that the wrong person might find offensive. Man, how could I be so friggin' stupid? I can't let my coworkers see what I write. I gotta figure out how to eliminate this problem before it gets too big.

Okay, here's something that shouldn't get me in trouble at work. It's a mildly amusing tale that'll probably sound generic, but I swear it's true. When I was a wee lad, my folks used to go out to this steakhouse like once or twice a year (it was a real fancy steakhouse and quite a treat). I think I was like five and just learned how to read when I saw a sign boasting about a sweepstake. Since I had never come across the word, I asked my folks what a sweepstake was. My mom told me that a sweepstake is like a contest, only bigger and better. And then I got to thinking, it only made sense that a steakhouse has a sweepstake contest. After all, this steakhouse was supposedly the best in the entire state. Any ordinary contest wouldn't fit the standards of this restaurant.

A few weeks later, I won a sweepstake that my local library was having. I remember I was happy when I won, but disappointed when I got my prize--a couple of Berenstain Bears books. Angry, I demanded my steak...and no one had any clue as to what I was talking about.

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