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I am so sick of the Superman vs. Batman debate. I was talking to a gal online tonight and it really got my juices flowing. It's time we put this debate to bed.

Superman is just so much cooler than Batman--and far more believable. I know Batman fans like to tell you how unrealistic Superman is--that Batman is more plausible because he's just a guy. What a bunch of hogwash! Let's examine the credibility of both characters and you tell me which is more believable: which character needs a larger suspension of disbelief?

Superman is an alien: all of his skills and powers are due to being from a different world.

Batman is a man. A human being just like you or me. Only he never gets hurt or loses a fight. He's strong enough win any battle no matter how badly he's outnumbered. He can fling grown man through the air. He can leap remarkable distances. His stamina is superb. He never tires; never weakens; and never sleeps.

Superman is an alien: all of his skills and powers are due to being from a different world.

Batman spends his evenings fighting crime and busting bad guys. He spends he's days making millions as Bruce Wayne. I know he's smart and I know he's strong. But exactly when does he rest? A real guy requires sleep. He has two fulltime jobs: Wayne Enterprise and being Batman. Not just the busting bad guys part; he also has to design all those wonderful toys.

Superman is an alien: all of his skills and powers are due to being from a different world.

Where does he get all those wonderful toys? I understand Bruce Wayne has millions and can get anything he wants--but where the ruddy hell did they come from in the first place? eBay? Someone had to build it. Even if Batman invents all those weapons himself, they had to get made somewhere. This would totally ruin in his "secret" identity. If Joker really wanted to know who Batman was, all he had to do is figure out where all those batsuits were being sent to. You can talk all you want about confidentiality clauses all you want, people are dying to know who Batman is: I'm sure someone will talk. Look at the friggin' Batmobile for cripes' sake: someone had to build it. When the Caped Crusader is chasing some villains down the freeway and CNN televises it, you'd think GM or whoever built the damn thing would recognize it (I don't care if he painted it black).

Superman is an alien: all of his skills and powers are due to being from a different world.

In Batman, we're expected to swallow a whole lot as an audience. If you start to ask too many questions, you're going to be left with too few answers. A human with superhuman strength. A guy with weapons more complex and awesome than any government agency has ever dreamt of. And the anonymity of being in public all the time as a billionaire playboy. That's a lot of plot holes we're expected to ignore. Now compare that to the unrealistic elements of Superman: he's an alien.

Even though we have no scientific proof of aliens yet, I find the concept of extra-terrestrials far more believable than an unbeatable, never-tiring, billionaire who spends his evenings freelancing against crime while remain anonymous.

Hopefully this is enough concrete proof to end this endless debate.

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2006