I had another incident at the grocery store. I swear, if this keeps up I'm gonna hafta start boycotting Albertsons--unless they ban me first.

The store was having a helluva Superbowl sale. With coupons, I was able to buy four 12 packs of cola at $9; Lay's potato chips for a buck; and eight pieces of fried chicken for $2.99. It was a three-day event so I stocked up Friday and hoped on doing it again tonight after the big game.

While waiting in line, a cashier from another register informed me I had to spend a minimum of $10 to get the deal. Being the diligent gent I am, I already knew that--after all, it says it right on the coupon. But with $9 worth of Pepsi and $3 of chicken, I figured the $10 minimum wasn't an issue. Besides, I used all three coupons on Friday for the same exact purchase without incident at another Albertsons.

Despite only one person being ahead of me in line, my wait was treacherous. An employee of all people was creating a huge delay 'cause she was trying to buy gift cards with gift cards. Or something like that. All I can tellya is that not only was she preventing me from my dinner with fried chicken, she was also irritating the cashier who had to deal with her.

When my turn came up, the cashier said to me "You need to make a minimum $10 purchase to use the coupons."

"I have a $10 purchase," I told her. But the cashier refused to budge. She wouldn't ring me up nor did she have any interest of even attempting the transaction. Her attitude and lack of effort really chafed me. "Just ring it up and you'll see I have $10 worth of food."

She said something like it not being allowed--that I needed an additional $10 purchase outside of the coupon.

"It doesn't say that anywhere on here," I insisted.

"It doesn't matter--we're not allowed to let you use it."

"So you mean because I'm standing her talking to you, I'm not allowed to use the coupon? If I went to the self-checkout it would work? You're not even trying it. I can tell you I made this same exact purchase the other day at the self-checkout line and the coupons were accepted."

"It doesn't matter," she insisted.

"Fine--load all my stuff up back in the cart and I'll go to self-check out."

As I put my items back in my cart, I was annoyed at the idiocy and indolence of everyone involved--from the three cashiers who chimed in to manager who acted like I was a pee-on. I know the coupon works because I used one just like it the other day. They could insist all they want about needing to spend $10 outside the sale items, but it didn't say that anywhere on the coupon. Ten feet from the door, I thought about just taking the stuff and heading out to the parking lot--my items could be my reward for the stress an aggravation of them being all morons.

I rung-up my items at the self-checkout with incident. The coupons were accepted. The total was around $16 after tax and CRV. But when it came time to pay, a message appeared on screen: "Manager Approval Needed."

The employee who was watching over the self-checkout registers started gloating. "I told you: you can't use those coupons without a minimum $10 purchase."

"Maybe my math has gotten a little fuzzy, but last time I checked $16 was more than $10," I told her.

"You need to spend $10 more," she said.

I looked at the coupon again. In bold letters it said "Minimum $10 purchase." Nowhere did it mention an additional $10 purchase. Excluded items were tobacco products, alcohol, and gift cards. There was a limit to how much of each item I purchased. But there was no wording of an additional $10 purchase on top of the sale items. I used the coupons the other day. Not to mention, I frequently have trouble with the self-checkout because I often don't bag items: "Manager Approval" coulda meant anything.

"I used the same three coupons the other day making the same exact purchase. The coupons were accepted without a problem. It says on here a minimum $10 purchase and I have a minimum $10 purchase. If I'm required to have an additional $10 purchase, that's an issue between you and you're marketing people. I'm following the terms exactly as described on this coupon."

Another cashier drifted over and examined my coupon. She read it from head to toe--twice. Maybe it's because she sensed I was on the verge of causing a scene. Maybe it's because she realized I was right. Whatever the case, she relented. In a very firm and insulting tone, she said she was going to honor the coupon. "But only this time. I'm making an exception: next time I won't give it you."

"Actually, you will," I said. I was really angry and I let her have it. "You'll give it to me if I come in here ten minutes from now with the same set of coupons. I'm following the terms as written in here. If you have a problem with it, then maybe your legal team should do a better job of defining the terms of these coupons."

I made it out to my car, taking deep breathes and trying to calm down. I knew I was right--not just based on legalese--but because I used the coupons the other day. Everyone in this store just seemed to give me attitude from the beginning--like they didn't want to sell it to me (or even try). Even though the register needed manager's approval, that didn't mean my coupons were bad. The self-checkout registers have scales to prevent theft. The weight in your bags is supposed to match the weight of the items you ring up. I didn't bag the cola because it comes on boxes with handles. The register already accepted the coupons--the bagging issue is probably what set the thing off in the first place. Every time I buy milk I don't bag 'em and every time someone is required to approve my purchase. That's probably what happened here but since everyone was too stupid or lazy to help, they just assume I had a coupon problem.

I hate the grocery store. They seem to be getting more vicious and unscrupulous everyday. Just like the rest of Corporate America. Screw the customer--that's the new business policy of everything everywhere. It's annoying as hell.

© 2007 siknerd.com