I hate to be one who perpetuates stereotypes, but sometimes the stereotype perpetuates itself. Today, I had to go to the Orange County Badminton Club for work. As I pulled into the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice that it shared a building with a restaurant called Bebe's Thai Food. Inside the Orange County Badminton Club were pictures of its board members and special contributors: everyone photographed shared an obvious characteristic (meaning, if my picture was up there it would seem very out of place). The snack bar had a sign that informed customers if they ordered a drink with easy ice, the price would go up a quarter; if they ordered a drink without ice, it would go up 50 cents. Like I said, I hate to encourage a stereotype that may or may not be true, but the only thing missing was a parking lot full of poorly parked cars.

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Thanks to caller ID, I really don't see the need for voicemail anymore. Ninety per cent of the messages I receive are "hey, call me." This used to drive me nuts back in the day before cell phones I had a pager. Someone would often call me up and leave a voicemail message telling me to call them. It always struck me as idiotic. I had to find a pay phone and waste a quarter to hear that they wanted me to call them back. If they simple entered their number I coulda saved a quarter.

But that was so 20th century.

I've always felt voicemails are needed to give crucial messages or because calls can't be returned (I've also used the voicemail to breakup with someone, but that's neither here nor there). Voicemail messages just to say hi seem like a colossal waste of time. The aforementioned "call me" message is foolish because I fully intended...once I can use my phone. More often than not, I find the voicemail to be a nuisance.

Call me lazy, but I hate having to call my mailbox to hear inane, pointless messages. It's just not worth my time--not when I have fantasy baseball teams to manage and homeless people to ignore. Even when I get a message, it usually takes me a few hours to listen to it because I know whatever is said is probably useless. I find it hard to get motivated by uselessness.

I think the majority of people my age agree with me. Or maybe it's just a guy thing (we're all pretty damn lazy): rarely do my friends leave me a voicemail message. If they call me and I don't pick up, they either send me a text message or wait for me to call them back--and they know I'll call them back 'cause I'll see the missed call on my cell phone. It's just faster that way. It takes me a minute or two to check my voicemail--I can push 'return call' in under a second.

Yes, I do get the occasional message--but most of the time it's not substantial. Or it just could seem that way because I only get a message once every two weeks (yet another sign I need more friends). But for the most part, no one leaves me voicemail messages...except The Girlfriend--she leaves me messages all the time. Maybe it's just 'cause I talk to her more often than my male counterparts (there's just something about two guys chit-chatting on the phone that feels gay to me...not that there's anything wrong with it). And when we talk, we're rarely discussing anything crucial (i.e., world peace or information that could disrupt the space/time continuum). It's only natural that she leaves me message that tell me how her day went and what time she's going home. Nevertheless, I kinda sorta hate 'em.

Don't get me wrong--they're sweet and occasionally good for a pick-me-up. But for the most part, they're irrelevant. The only way these messages affect my life is that they took 60 seconds from my life to hear them.

Of course, what sorta fool tells his girlfriend to stop calling him? That just seems like a relationship killer. I should probably be grateful that she cares enough to call. Besides, what's a lousy minute out of my otherwise empty day? And if it really continues to be a problem, I can hand her my cell phone bill at the end of the month.

© 2007 siknerd.com