Growing up, I was never a fan of tipping because "they're just doing their job." Just like Mr. Pink in "Reservoir Dogs," I felt leaving money was appropriate if they did a good job. But to simply leave 15 per cent just because they did what they were supposed to do was something that bothered me.

But I got older and less cheap--and I realized that you had to tip. That the owners of restaurants rarely pay their servers because they make all their money on tips. That even if they didn't treat you like a king, you oughta leave a little something for the effort--it's expected.

But I think that's starting to be a problem. I feel like waiters and waitress are becoming far less efficient because they know they're gonna get tipped anyway--they no longer have to work for their money. It especially feels that way when you get a young server--the kid who is working their way through college. They just don't seem to give a damn about their customers because they know they're gonna get paid no matter what.

I'm not a big fan of sit-down restaurants because I don't like having people serve me--it just feels weird. I'm no better than anyone else and I feel uncomfortable having someone wait on me hand and foot. I don't need someone to bring me my food or drink refills--I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself. But when you're at a sit-down restaurant and have no choice but to wait for someone to bring it to you, it better damn well come.

The other day, I went to Ruby's with The Girlfriend. I ordered food with a side of barbeque sauce and The Girlfriend asked for an additional plate. Our food was cooked hella fast and someone other than our waiter dropped it off at our table--and quickly darted away. The Girlfriend was without her additional plate; I was sans a side of barbeque sauce. I sat at the table for five minutes or so, waiting for our server to return.

My brother is a waiter and a damn good one. He always says that you have to return to the table within 20 seconds or 20 bites of serving food just to make sure everyone is happy. It makes sense. Let's say someone wants a sauce that isn't at the table. Or someone's steak isn't properly cooked. Or someone ordered onion rings and got fries. It's just common sense, good service.

But at Ruby's, our server never returned. I started eating my food because I didn't want it to get cold. I was halfway though my burger without an appearance of our server. The Girlfriend had a massive mess of food spread across the table because she hadn't gotten her plate. Eventually, enough was enough: I went up to the cashier and told her I needed a side of barbeque sauce and a plate for my table.

After The Girlfriend and I both finished eating, our server appeared for the first time since taking our order. He asked if we wanted anything else.

"Nope--but I will take refill on my fries," I said (one of the great things about Ruby's is they have bottomless fries--how cool is that). Moments later, he left the bill and a second order of fries on my table. He didn't offer to take the existing trash that was at the table; I was forced to eat around it.

My brother always told me that I should never not leave a tip. Even if you get crappy service, don't leave the guy hanging. Ask to talk to the manager and maybe they'll throw in a free dessert or offer to take something off your bill. But you shouldn't stiff the server. If you leave nothing, they don't know what they did wrong--and they still have to give a percentage of their sales to the busboys, tip or not.

The thing is, that approach doesn't always work for me. One time I had a waitress screaming at me and throwing stuff because I complained about her to the manager. I'm not really looking for a handout: I really just don't like leaving money for a server who doesn't deserve it.

I asked for the manager, who apologized. She said our waiter was having a stomach issue (which has me wondering why is he serving food if he's sick). The thing is, no matter what his excuse was, he didn't do his job. Why should I--the American consumer--pay him if he can't do his job? I doubt his boss would have paid him.

And yet I still found myself leaving a tip. It was a little on the low side (13.5 percent), but he still got paid.

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Last night The Girlfriend and I went to Denny's. Before you scarf at that, I have typically found the servers at Denny's to be very attentive--maybe it's because most of them are older and realize they hafta work for a living.

I order one of their breakfast slams with fries instead of hash browns. Immediately at the table, I noticed the fries were cold. The waiter immediately apologized and offered to get me new ones. He took my plate and returned to the kitchen.

"Is that really the best way to handle that," I asked The Girlfriend. "Couldn't he simply have asked the kitchen for another side of fries and left the rest of my food here?"

My worst fears were confirmed: it took him like ten minutes to bring me back my food. And here's where it gets ironic. The fries were no longer on my plate, but rather a second dish of fries. Of course, the rest of my food was the same exact one product he initially brought to me--only now the eggs and bacon were cold.

I ate my cold food (but at least my fries were warm) without complaining: if I said something again, surely my French toast would end up in the cook's underpants. I'll give this waiter a little bit of props: he did return within 20 bites of my cold food (The Girlfriend had long since finished eating everything she order). He asked me if we needed anything else. My glass was half-full, so I didn't need anything at the time (except maybe a microwave oven). He left the bill and was never seen from again.

The Girlfriend and remained there for another 30 minutes. Even after we finished eating and the trash started to pile high, no one came by to check on us. My appetite was long gone so I had tons of food left over that I planned on taking home with me. Unfortunately, there were no offers of to-go plates. Even my empty glass sitting at the end of the table went ignored.

I can't really blame the other servers--we weren't their table. But the thing is, the guy who was supposed to be taking care of us didn't even appear to be in the building. Most waiters who have to leave--whether it be break or to go home--at least tell their customer and point out who would be able to help them if need be. This guy just vanished like David Copperfield.

Even though complaints about Denny's is nothing new (although, it is a bit unusual for a white guy to not get served), I still left the restaurant feeling tremendously unhappy. I don't expect to be treated like a king by waiters. I'm not looking for backrubs and blowjobs and someone kissing my ass: I just want them to get me whatever I want. If I go to McDonald's and want a drink refill, I can walk up and get it myself. If I want more catsup, all I gotta do is ask for it. But at a sit-down restaurant, customers aren't allowed to help themselves. Customers are helpless without their waiter--even if they don't want to be. If the server doesn't bring you what you need, you've got no choice but to go on without it. And that really, really upsets me. If I pay for something, I better get what I want.

It seems to me service gets worse and worse in restaurants. I'm not talk about pleasant similes and making me feel important: I'm just getting sick of going to sit-down restaurants and not getting what I want. Maybe I'm too demanding, I don't know. But it's not like I berate the servers--I'm always pleasant and warm. I just feel like too often I'm forgotten.

You can argue that servers are often busy and have other tables to worry about and I won't disagree. But if a server is stretched too thin, then that restaurant needs to hire another server (hence complaining to the manager instead of just not tipping).

I've never been a waitress so I don't know what it's like. But I feel like today, servers know they're gonna get paid no matter what. They don't bust their asses. Like most Americans at their jobs, they do the bare minimum to get by (I know I do)--especially the young servers.

I don't wanna sound like a scrooge, but I think I'm gonna hafta reconsider my position on tipping. I'm only gonna give 15 per cent when they do their job. Money talks in this country. I'm not gonna feel guilty about under-tipping if the situation warrants it. 'Cause it seems like even when things go bad, servers are still getting their 15 per cent--and there's no motivation in that.

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