America has sunk to a new low. I'm talking lower than the media's fascination with Paris Hilton. Lower than Miss Teen South Carolina's IQ. Lower than Barack Obama's street cred. As of now, the American dollar has identical value to the Canadian dollar. That's right--a buck is worth as much as a loonie.

I knew our economy was bad, but I didn't realize we fell that far. I know the Euro has gain 40 per cent on us over the past five years; the English pound 30. But Canada? Honestly, who's even watching the Canadian dollar anyway? It just sorta snuck up on me.

I'm so used to seeing two different prices on things ($2.99, $3.50 Canadian). I'm so used to saying Canada is 85 per cent as good as America. I've always thought of Canada as America Jr--kinda like the bastard love child of the US and France.

And now they're equal to us? All my Canadian jokes are now useless (how can any one mock a country equal to his own). Before you know it, those ham-eating, maple syrup-drinking Canucks will start making jokes about us. According to my calculations, if our dollar continues this plunge Canadians will have more spending power than us by Tuesday.

The American dollar is thought of as the gold standard around the world: my question is why? Inflation is awful in this country. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Our dollar is plummeting like ABC's ratings. If anything, other countries will soon start coming here for "cheap" vacations.

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I was watching "Who's the Boss?" tonight and noticed something: television sure has changed a lot over the years. While it was never one of my favorite shows, "Who's the Boss?" was still one of those shows I used to watch (even at the age of five, I knew Samantha Micelli was hot). And while I'm sure my taste has evolved, I can't see how that show was on the air for eight years. Tony Micelli was a happy-go-lucky buffoon who'd thank you for punching him in the nose. Angela was old and uninteresting. And the grandmother's skanky ways weren't funny--if anything, they were creepy (the scene of her prancing around in a bikini top should have been banned by the FCC). I know Samantha Micelli was hot--but eight seasons?

Television was much simpler then. Stuff audiences gobbled up back then wouldn't fly today. Maybe people are more sophisticated and intelligent that I thought. No problem was too complex that it couldn't be solved in a single 30-minute episode (except for those super-big problems: they always finished with a "To Be Continued..."). Every episode ended like it began. Nothing change. The characters. Their relationships towards each other. Their jobs, living arrangements, or kitchen décor--everything remained status quo. A child molester moves into the neighborhood and he's gone by the end of the episode--never mentioned ever again. Someone gets a job offer that changes the situation in their situation comedy--the job doesn't come to fruition and forgotten forever.

I've often felt one of the biggest reasons of "Friends" success was its soap opera-like method to storytelling. Plot lines are hashed over four or five episodes--not wrapped up in a single tale. This compelled people to watch again next week. "Lost" has been credited with inspiring long, drown out plots and continuous storylines but the approach has been around long before the survivors of Oceanic 815 enter my living room.

We are smarter than our previous generation and you need no more proof than our entertainment. We need to be challenged by television programming that offers more than problems solved in 30 minutes. Of course, we also approved of not one, but two "Jackass" movies, so what do I know?

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