I saw someone using a pay phone last week. That was an odd sight--I didn't even know pay phones existed anymore. Who needs them--doesn't everyone have a cell phone nowadays (I have two)?

The thing is, pay phones are actually everywhere--I noticed this after I started thinking about pay phones. They're still out there. With everyone having cells, pay phones can't be making any money--I wonder if there's some sorta government subsidiary to keep 'em around (like a safety issue or sumhin'). Even in a great location, how does a pay phone average more than a call a day? At 25 cents a call, that's only like 28 bucks a month. It might be more than I make, but certainly not an endeavored worth investing in.

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Unlike most guys in the country, I'm not dreading February 14th. I don't hafta deal with teddy bears and heart-shaped chocolates because The Girlfriend doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. The Girlfriend realizes that I treat her like a goddess year round and there's no need to do anything special mid-February because Hallmark says so.

I am a long-time VD-hater--and not just because my horrific adventures in singlehood. I believe Valentine's Day is an insignificant, corporate created holiday (kinda like Grandparent's Day without the geriatrics). While I doubt I'm the first lunatic in America to say this, but I believe VD is a holiday pushed by the corporations. They want you to go out and buy more chocolate, flowers, and other useless crap--it's just another way designed to separate consumers from their dollars. We spend money and get the executives rich--the perfect way to offset poor Christmas sales. The corporations do a damn good job of letting every woman out there know unless her man spends a lot of money on her, he doesn't really love her.

Why do guys have all the pressure on Insignificant Corporate Created Holiday? Why is the guy expected to buy the gal stuff? Men are the ones who hafta do all the romancin'--it doesn't seem fair. There's no law that says a man can't receive flowers. Ya know, I'd like to get flowers just once--so I can know what it feels like. And I like chocolate way too much--I'd like someone to show up at my doorstep with a box full of Reese's Pieces. I'll pass on the teddy bear 'cause that's a little too girly--but I'd love to be a recipient of all that Insignificant Corporate Created Holiday romance for a change.

Ah...but that was then; this is now. I don't hafta deal with all that crap because The Girlfriend isn't into it. The only kinda romance she's gonna get is a t-shirt free of ketchup stains. And maybe I'll wear pants when we eat dinner--but that's about it. That's the great part of being in a relationship--I no longer hafta woo. It takes a lot of effort to be this charming.

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