I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize last month. I answered the phone to a person who asked me if I speak Spanish.

"No," I told him.

He asked me again. I'm not sure why (I'm pretty sure the Spanish translation of 'no' is 'no'). Perhaps he though my answer might've change in the past two second.

"Why would I speak Spanish," I asked him. "This is America--we speak English in America."

"Hablas espanol?"

"Who is this," I demanded. The guy must not've understood the question because he stuttered. I didn't wait for him to respond. "Why are you calling me and asking me if I speak Spanish? I'm an American in America and I speak English--I don't appreciate strangers calling me up and asking me if I speak Spanish."

After a long pause (probably because he was using his pocket dictionary to translate what I said), he hung up the phone, ending the most unwanted phone conversation in the history of the world (no, I don't think I'm overstating it).

My take on this isn't exactly unique, but that won't stop me from complaining. It really makes me mad how many people I come across that expect me to speak Spanish. This isn't Mexico, Ecuador, Spain, or even Tijuana. This is the United States of America. And even though we don't have an 'official' language, English is pretty much the language we speak. It's what teachers use in schools. It's what the Constitution was written in. It's what's spoken in our court rooms. It makes me incredibly angry when someone approaches me and expects me to speak their language--something other than English? Homey don't play that.

It's really starting to bother me how this country is catering to those who don't speak English. From driver's licenses to voter registration, practically every official document in this country can be found in multiple languages. I think it's awful that this country is catering to people who can't even speak the language. That's not to say I'm opposed to diversity; I'm not anti-diversity--I'm pro-communication. If a cop pulls over a Chinese driver who doesn't speak a lick of English, how's he supposed to ask for the driver's license and registration? If a Puerto Rican doesn't understand what Hillary is saying, how can he possibly vote for her? I think people should be perfectly entitled to speak whatever they want in their homes. But when it comes to being a functional part of our society, everybody needs to be on the same page.

I can't vouch for the rest of the world, but in SoCal it's like we're infested by a Spanish-speaking invasion. It went from minor, bilingual signs in Spanish-speaking communities to pretty much every print ad being in English and Spanish. I'm not kidding. The Target and Wal-Mart circular is written in both English and Spanish. I'm not talking two editions (that would be too costly for the stores). One ad; two languages. It doesn't make sense. I'm subscribing to an English newspaper; why do the stores assume I can't speak English.

And that's the problem. I think the many of the Spanish speakers I come across actually do speak English. They just prefer Spanish. Maybe they're uncomfortable with English; maybe they just can't talk as fast. But a lot of them are perfectly capable of getting by with English. So why are we catering to them? Why are we creating an environment that encourages the bilinguals to use their natural tongue when this is a country that predominantly speaks English?

I got a buddy who speaks English and Spanish. He grew up in a house that speaks primarily Spanish, but he went to American schools, watched American televisions, and speaks perfect English without the hint of an accent. El Diablo feels like I do--that this is America. When strangers approach him and ask him if he speaks Spanish, he plays dumb and says he doesn't. This comes in handy at times. I remember one time we went to a restaurant and the Spanish-speaking cooks were talking bad about us. El Diablo cursed them out and vowed never to return there again.

But I got off-track. I don't have any answers--only questions. All I know is it gets worse and worse the older I get. I wonder what SoCal is gonna be like in 20 years. I know language is constantly evolving. Maybe we're headed to a society that using a blend of many languages that is completely incomprehensible to me (kinda like when someone from Brooklyn talks). That might be the future, but this is now. We're in America--I speak English...and I'm not gonna pander to those who don't.

© 2008 siknerd.com