I can't sleep.  It's a real problem I have.  I can't fall asleep unless I'm cold.  Conversely, I can't wake if it's cold.  There is no happy medium; these two truths are etched in stone.

Since I moved out of The Hole, I usually sleep with the window wide open.  The cold air does wonders as I slowly drift to a land where I have the Force and drive the General Lee while slaying demonic zombies.  Unfortunately, that window remains open while I sleep, keeping my room chilly beyond the time required for me to wake up.

As you might imagine, this creates an interesting problem for me.  I can sleep with the window and peaceful succumb to sleep at a reasonable hour.  But the price to pay is a painful morning that leaves me sluggish and unable to part from the cozy confines of my bed.

Or I can leave the windows closed, toss and turn in bed for countless hours, getting extremely frustrated and angry, eventually and awkwardly falling asleep.  Mornings are far more peaceful, but I feel like shite because I only had a few hours of sleep.

There has to be a solution to this.  If only I could convince the gnomes who steal my socks at night to close the window after their visit.  I could then peacefully fall asleep in sub-zero temperatures and wake up to a normal, room temperature morning.  Alas, those gnomes aren't to keen on suggestions (lord knows they won't leave the toilet seat up): I have to find another way to go to sleep with the window open and wake up with it closed.  If only I still lived with my mommy.  Then again, wouldn't wake up to feed me when I was an infant; I doubt she'd wake up to close my window.

I know I can't be the only person whose sleep proclivities are dependant on the temperature: there has to be a solution.  I'm tired of this--tired like I'm tired of being up right now.  There's gotta be something I could do.