Sometimes I just don't wanna go to sleep.  This would be one of those times.

I like to bring justice to the world, one asshole at a time (it's the result of being stubborn, petty, and equitable).  One thing in particular that especially annoys me is when some farging icehole decides to take two spots with his car.  You know the type--the kinda person who doesn't care taking more than he's entitled to just to be sure no one dings his car.

I've been having a little tug-of-war with a particular jerkwad recently at school.  Some guy (and I'm assuming it's a guy) frequently parks his truck in two spots in the parking lot.  This little bastard is fairly creative with his selfishness.  He doesn't park directly over the line with his truck equally divide over two spots.  Instead, this fella backs his truck into the spot, shading 80 percent of the passenger's side in one spot.  This way, his truck is only a foot or so over the line.  To the casually observed, it appears to be the byproduct of a bad parking job.  But I'm smarter than the average bear and I've seen him parked that way five or six times now.  Either he's the world's worst parker and should have his license taken away or he's doing it on purpose (my money is on the latter).

As if that wasn't fuel enough to despise this putz, you should see the truck he drives.  Big, shiny, and new.  The truck has been raised and modified with tires so big that Louie Anderson could tie one to a tree and use it as a swing (assuming the tree could support his weight).  I'm sure you know the kinda truck I'm talking about: the kind that screams "I'm tattooed up and down and a total prick!"

Needless to say, I relish applying swift justice ('Nerd-style) to this type of jakhole.

As I previously stated, he doesn't fully take the second spot--he hangs over just enough to discourage anyone else from parking there.  Fortunately when you're equipped with a small car, stones the size of Wisconsin, and the parking skills to make any stressed out valet attendant jealous, justice can be had.  Despite the tight squeeze, I am able to fit into that spot he wrongfully took.  Not only that, I'm able to back my car up and keep only a three or four inch distance in-between our cars.  And because the tool always lets his driver's side intrude onto the second spot, I make it impossible for him to slide between the two vehicles--let alone open the driver's door.  He's got no option but to enter through the passenger's door and hope over the center divider.

Golly, I sure hope he's big and tall!

I've done this to him about four times or so now, with Friday being the most recent.  My car is 18-years old: the beauty of owning a car that's legally old enough to have sex with, is that you really could careless if someone dings it.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything bad to happen to my Batmobile.  But a minor ding is a small price to pay considering the punishment I dished out to him (not that I hafta worry about dings with us being that close together).

Anywhos, I just thought you might be interested in hearing a little tale of how I helped right a wrong--because eventually, this idiot is gonna start to think twice about parking in two spots.