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Sex & Softball--there's nothing like putting a ball through the hole
(c) 2006--Patent Pending, Patent Pending, Patent Pending Thu, 04/20/06

Someone once told me that if sex is a pain in the ass, you're probably doing it wrong. Now I know a few gay guys who would contest that statement but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

A co-worker saw me hobbling around at work today. I was limping with both legs and about as stiff as Bret Farve's acting in "There's Something About Mary." Being the ladies man I am, he asked if I was up all night with a girl.

"No, I had something better than sex--I had a softball game last night."

After he stopped laughing, I explained to him the similarities between softball and sex.


  • There are winners and losers--and someone always walks away disappointed.
  • The goal is to score as much as possible.
  • It's a good workout; you get extremely sweaty and wake up with aches you didn't know you had the night before.
  • Many older players use performance-enhancing drugs
  • Someone is always criticizing your performance, often with compliants of "You're doing it wrong."
  • If you're not careful, someone can get seriously hurt.
  • Drinking beer beforehand usually leads clumsiness and poor execution.
  • Base hits are nice, but nothing excites the crowd like taking it deep.
  • The fat guy rarely makes it to second base.
  • Helmet protection is optional, but highly recommended.

© 2006 siknerd.com



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