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I just came across an eBay ad where I guy is selling his digital camera. Within the ad, he has a picture of his camera with this priceless sales pitch: "I took the pic with it so u can see how nice it takes them!!" I'll letcha chew on that one for a while.

I have decided that a racial discrimination lawsuit is in my future. It's not necessarily something I look forward to--but it's inevitable. Actually, it's a remarkable fact that I haven't been struck down with one already. In this age when Kramer's career is ruined and Andy Dick can make headlines for simply saying "nigger," where does that leave me?

While I don't use racial terms like that, I do love racial humor. Making fun of white guys 'cause that got no rhythm. Black guys 'cause their large penis. Mexicans for their criminal records. Asians for their math skills. Canadians for their maple syrup. I think stereotypes are hilarious because A) people get bent out of shape for nothing and B) most of the time, they're true.

I don't know if it's garnered national attention, but a local fireman is suing Los Angeles and the LA fire department. As part of a hazing ritual, he was forced to eat dog food. While this was only one of many games the firefighters played with each other, apparently this one crossed the line because the firefighter was black. Even though he was on the other side and hazed white firefighters, he and his lawyer feel racial discriminated because black men shouldn't hafta eat dog food. Now the firefighter wants to get paid to make the whole thing go away.

Meanwhile, the camera-hungry Gloria Allred is "representing" the men Michael Richards addresses in his tirade. Both parties are gonna met in front of a retired judge who will determine exactly how much money Cosmo needs to pay the two men. I'm not sure what they did that entitles them to getting money (let's all completely disregard the First Amendment and right to free speech). I know they're black, but why can't they simply go on welfare like every other black man that doesn't wanna work?

See--that's what I'm talking about. Way too often I spit out jokes like that. There's nothing malicious about it. It's just a quip and quipping is what I do.

Ironically, I'm most racist with people of ethnicity. I've noticed that Asian guys tell the best Asian jokes. Black folks play up the stereotypes all the time ('specially the big penis thing). Hell, I even had a midget for a friend once: he told the best midget jokes you ever heard.

The thing is, the folks I'm with are okay with it--at least I think they're okay with it. I don't start going down the racial humor road until they do. I usually don't make a joke about someone being Mexican until he does. If he can make racists jokes, I can too.

And that's where society really is messed up. If a Mexican comic like George Lopez can make jokes about his relatives running over the border, why can't white guys? If society as a whole was really offended by all racial humor, ethnic comedians would be run out of town.

But the fact of the matter is people enjoy racist humor and poking fun at stereotypes. Richard Pryor made a career out of being black (and I absolutely love Richard Pryor). It makes little sense that some people can be racists and some can't. I applaud Jessie Jackson's call to make sure no one ever says the n-word. Unfortunately, it's just not gonna happen (kinda like me applauding Jessie Jackson for something again). The word shouldn't have two meanings and be okay for some people and not for others.

I read an article about other racial incidents in the LA fire department. I wasn't offended by any of it because I've been in those situations. Everyone is okay with all the racial humor because they're all friends--until they realize there's money to be made.

Maybe that's how to avoid a racial discrimination suit. If I stay poor, there's nothing to sue for.

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