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I was about six years old when I said my first curse word. My little brother was bugging the hell out of me and I used a term I heard in school earlier that day: "Fredo is such a pain in the ass."

My mom looked at me, surprised by my choice of words. Luckily she was the supportive type so I didn't hafta feast on a bar of Irish Spring. Instead, she calmly talked to me and asked me if I knew what an ass was.

"I'm not sure but I know Fredo is a pain in it." My mom then proceeded to pat her bottom, indicating to me that an ass is one's rear end. "That's sounds about right because Fredo is a real pain in it."

Since her lesson wasn't come off exactly as she planned, my mom explained to me that certain people don't like certain words and ass is one of those words I shouldn't say. I didn't understand why, but I knew she was serious about it so I promised her that I wouldn't say it anymore. She smiled and was happy that I got the message. As I started to go up to my room to play my mom left me with another piece of advice: "Oh and your brother is not a pain."

I was willing to abide by her language policy, but my opinion would not change: my brother was a pain in the ass then and he's a pain in the ass today. Some things never change...

I spent a good part of the 80s making fun of Michael Jackson and Prince because, well, they were both so damn weird. Jacko was odd before he was a pedophile and Prince always seemed like he'd much rather be a woman. I didn't care for either of their music--probably because I was so distracted by the fact they'd make a perfect couple.

But over the past few years I have developed a major appreciation for both artists. I know why Michael was called the "King of Pop." Listen to his hits--how can you not wanna jam to "Billie Jean?" And Prince is the master of 80s funk. With Prince, I can actually feel the music and almost wanna dance--how crazy is that?

I wonder if the kiddies today know how great these freaks are musically. Have they ever listened to "Thriller?" Do they think "Beat It" is just something Jacko does while watching the Disney Channel? Even the Jackson 5 was quite remarkable. Unfortunately that all gets forgotten when you lure boys to Neverland and feed them Jesus Juice.

Once you look past the makeup and all of his feminine attributes, Prince is one helluva musician. Music he wrote in the 80s feels timeless today (okay, maybe the phrase "Party like it's 1999" is a little outdated). Whenever I hear Prince I just wanna boogey. That's right--I said boogey.

It's a shame 'cause the kiddies are so caught up in who Lindsay is boning and what Britney isn't wearing. Those people aren't artists. You want truly great pop music look at Prince and Michael Jackson.

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